So it is now 9:15pm and I have just got back from a 5k run. It wasn't my best run as I have eaten far to much today which made me a bit ill but I still did it and that's what matters!
As always, I used my run as my thinking time and on this particular run I really took note of how much my life has changed since the beginning of September. It has really been a roller coaster of events and emotions that I have struggled to keep track of, to help me get my head round it all I am going to list all the things that have changed and then what I plan to do for the coming months.
It can be a bit upsetting but I feel it is important for us all to step back and take a look at what is going on in our lives before it goes over our heads and we can't control it. No matter how you are feeling right now just give it a try, write down everything thing that has changed in the past year and then decide what you want to address or what changes you want to celebrate.
So what has happened to me:
1) My friends have moved to University- I was meant to go but things got in the way so I am waiting until next year. I thought staying at home would be great for a year, it would let me relax and recharge but I just find myself feeling lonely and isolated.
2)I'm working full time as an IT apprentice- This is both good and bad. Working and getting paid is great and I love where I work, the people are great, the customers are great, the atmosphere is friendly etc. However college isn't so much fun; the teachers are lovely and so are my classmates but the feeling of being back in a school environment scares me and I have had a few panic attacks even though the work is pretty easy.
3)I have learnt to sew- this is a good one! I work at a fabric company so I have been meaning to learn for a long time, finally this week I picked up a needle and thread to make a very basic cushion. Now just a few day later I have made a pin cushion and I am in the middle of another throw pillow. Hand sewing is really therapeutic but as I get more and more excited about what I can make I am seriously considering making an investment in a good sewing machine.
4)I have started planning my Mum's Wedding-good and bad. The wedding fairs, dresses, cake tasting, make up trials and spa days are loads of fun and I get to spend loads of quality time with my Mum and my Sister. However as the wedding will mean making a lot of things official such as my Mum not sharing my surname, I got over the divorce a long time ago and now see that it was for the better but there is still all that emotion. Also I want my Mum to be happy so when I see her excited about her big day I do sometimes get those happy tears we all get.
Those are all the big things that are happening right now. So how to fix them?
1) Go and visit my friends at Uni but also get back in touch with all the people I know who stayed behind.
2) Remind myself that college is completely different to school and that there is no pressure because I already have my place at university.
3) Keep sewing, but don't let it get in the way of running because nothing beats a good run!
4) Try to focus on the exciting parts of the wedding, Mum has been with her future husband for nearly 10 years now, a piece of paper will not change the situation at home. But it is an excuse to have a good party so just enjoy it!
Okay so now I have an action plan, I have taken stock of my life and I know what to do next.
Try this out for yourself, or maybe just make room for some thinking time. It doesn't have to be as serious as mine, perhaps you are just fed up with your wardrobe so you plan to upgrade it. Simply things like that, it's all about taking a bit of time for self reflection.
Make sure the outcome is positive and I promise you will thank me.
Claudia x
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